Category: Well why not?

Posted on

I’m a pretty damn good mom after all

That’s basically all I wanted to say, but it feels good to actually “say” it out loud. It feels like it’s taken a long time to get here. (even though i haven’t really been a mom all that long, but whatever)

Sure I have bad days, but I know I’m not alone in that. And lately the good days have begun to far, far outnumber the bad ones. I’m getting into the swing of my new job and loading the girls up to go with me there, and that new routine is finally starting to feel more natural.

Oh yeah, I got a job. I’m planning a bigger “update” post wherein I explain all that, but in a nutshell I started working part-time at the front desk at the gym to which I’ve belonged for years. So far it’s going great. But like I said, more on that later.

This post is about me feeling good in my motherhood again. Being home with 2 is definitely harder than not being home with 1, since I worked full-time for the first 2 years of Della’s life. And as I’ve admitted before, it was a lot harder than I expected and allowed myself to believe at first. But honestly I do feel like I’m better getting the hang of it all.

Della and Lana are my little buddies now instead of simply my charges. Della gets excited to go to “Mama’s new work”, especially when we pack up her lunchbox. One of the girls in the kids care room where D & L go while I work told me this morning that Della was having a blast showing off her “new lunchbox” to everyone. I love how she refers to it as that, since we’ve had it in the cupboard for years. New to her though, I guess.

And Lana is definitely mellowing and becoming more fun to be around. Her crying jags are much fewer and far between, and dare I say on their way out? Now when she cries I know she’s obviously hungry or sleepy, depending on the time of day (or night still, unfortunately). Her smiles and huge blue eyes are the most beautiful things ever, and the chatter she squawks out is hysterical.

Seeing little shining moments in the girls’ days are also helping confirm my new found Mama conviction. When I dropped the two of them off in the kids care room at work today, Della walked over to a little boy who was standing near the cabinets by the sink. He must have been about her age, as he was a little shorter than her. She just wanted to see what he was doing, but when she walked up, he put his hand up on her chest in a “go away” motion. Instantly, flashbacks of those little bitches at the family party came back to me and I was heart-broken again. (what, i can call them that, they’re family) She didn’t see me watching this, however, and she went and sat down at one of the little tables in the room by herself.

I told this tale to that same girl who works in the kids care room later in the morning when she was out at the front desk, and she said oh poor Della! Yeah, that’s what I thought too! But she said don’t worry, they started coloring right after that and she was totally fine. Incident long forgotten. Which I assumed, but I was just happy to know that Della didn’t push the kid back or anything like that. She just walked away and did her own thing. I’d like to think I had a hand in forming her sweet, mild nature, but maybe it’s just innate. I’ll keep telling myself I at least helped, though.

So that’s all. I just felt really good about myself and the girls today, and wanted to write that out. Thank you for listening, as always.

Li really, really love this little face.

Dthe constant wonder in her eyes is such a marvelous thing.

 

Posted on

We’re molting! And other news

I guess more accurately we’re shedding, but I liked molting better. But either way, the time has come for the postpartum shed to begin. Yuck! And this time it’s not just me, but Lana too. Her tiny little hairs are falling out all over the place, as are my foot-long ones. Again, yuck!

I don’t remember Della losing her hair at this point so much, but then again she had a fraction of the amount of hair that Lana does. Hers did fall out too, but maybe it just wasn’t so obvious since there was less of it. I just hope this doesn’t last for 3 months again, making me think my hairline is receding like it did last time, because I detest cleaning hair up from every surface of the house.

Let’s see, what else… Della and I actually did a craft project today! I know, stop the presses. Every so often they would send home their little placemats from daycare with a picture of the kid and other stickers and pictures and stuff on them. We have 2 past ones, and Ryan thought it needed updating. So that was our project for this morning. I think it turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself. She picked all the pictures out of a magazine, I cut them out and glued them on, then she adorned it with stickers.

mat

 And speaking of daycare, D’s going back! Well, just 1 day a week, but I think she’ll love it. She still talks about 3 of her friends from there all the time, and I always feel bad when she does, thinking, well don’t get your hopes up because you’ll probably never see them again. I actually did ask the daycare director if they’re still there, and all but 1 of them are.

So we’re starting this Wednesday. Ryan will either drop her off and pick her up on his way home from work, or I’ll keep the car that day and play taxi. I really think she’ll enjoy being back with all the other kids, I’ll get a day to focus only on Lana, we can do it on a drop in basis, and we already know we love the place. Win, win, win, win, win…

Also, get this. I applied for a job! It’s just a part-time front desk position at the gym where I train and used to belong, so it’s not like I’m setting out to make my fortune here. I knew a long time ago that if I ever lost my last job, I would be very hard-pressed to make 6 figures again unless I did that same thing. Which I don’t really think I want to right now. So why not do something more lighthearted and fun?

The other great thing about this job would be I could probably take the girls into the kid care room while I was there, plus I’d get a membership for free. Winning again! It would just be a couple hours in the weekday mornings, whichever days they have openings. I spoke with the guy in charge of the front desk staffing today, and he will be working on February’s schedule later this week, obviously filling openings with current staff first then going from there. So he said he’ll let me know later in the week one way or the other.

I also said I would volunteer if they have no paid openings right now, which would still get us out of the house and me a free membership. So hopefully something will pan out there. I think it’s kind of a long shot since I didn’t see any front desk part-time openings on their website, but you never know. I’ll keep you posted.

Sooo… I think that’s about it. Fortunately 2013 seems to be off to a good start, and I’m feeling much better about everything these days. I definitely feel much more found than lost right now, and I am so thankful for that.

 

 

Posted on

Exhale

Christmas tree

Here I sit at 9:30 on a Thursday night. Folding the last of the day’s laundry by the light of the Christmas tree, Lana drifting off to sleep on the couch beside me. Her snuffles and grunts on the pacifier are slowly becoming quieter the closer she gets to the night’s slumber. Not that folding laundry is a particularly sentimental activity, it just happened to be what I was doing when the mood to type struck. I don’t mind it either. I’d much rather be folding laundry than ironing. Bleh. And have you ever folded size 2T/3T underwear? The fact that they even make butts that tiny is hysterical enough to make the activity almost enjoyable.

Della has just gone to bed and fortunately didn’t pull another round of crying as soon as I shut the door. That’s been her trick lately. Well, that and throwing a crying/whining fit before bed to try and avoid it all together. “Me sit Mama baby.” No, you already sat with Mama and Baby Lana. “Me sit Dada.” (increasingly whiny and teary) No, you already sat with Dada. “Me watch Do-do” (a.k.a Dora) Hell no, child. It’s bedtime.

I did just hear a thunk against the wall, though, which usually means she’s out and has rolled over to knock one of her million stuffed toys into the wall next to her bed. It’s probably the light-up ladybug that projects stars and the moon onto the ceiling and walls, which is her new favorite. A gift from one of Ryan’s cousins for Lana actually, but D has commandeered it until L needs it. Which, my guess is, will be never, or at least until D gives it up willingly. So, never.

This has been a week for the record books around here. All 4 of us have been simultaneously sick. Urg. It started last weekend, when both Ryan and I felt the early twinges of sore throats and headaches. Fortunately mine progressed from there, as it usually does, into just a full-blown head cold. Unfortunately Ryan and D bore the brunt. Ryan has been home sick the past 2 days, which I think is a record for him, with fever, aches, chills/sweats, all over nasty. D barfed Monday and yesterday, but now seems to be on the mend with just the remnants of a runny nose left so far. We’ll see what tomorrow brings, however. L has gotten super congested again, but thankfully I think that is the extent of her cold. I hate when infants get sick, because what can you really do for them?

So we are anxiously awaiting the return of health within our walls. Needless to say moods will be improved all around when it comes. Not that we’ve been mean to each other, but being in the throes of the flu doesn’t really lend itself to robust conversation. Grunts and phrases have been our main modes of communication this week. Fortunately Ryan was feeling better today than yesterday and was able to help me take care of the tinies, but he’s still struggling and going to bed well before either of their bedtimes. So it again falls to me to get them ready and asleep, then finish up everything I need to do around the house. At least I was able to eat dinner before 10:00 tonight.

I do still need to clean up the kitchen. I actually cooked dinner tonight! It was a slow cooker beef bourguignon over egg noodles, which I thought was pretty good. Ryan said it was bland, but whatever. See, moods need to improve soon.

Right now, though, I think I’ll get L into her crib. Before she was born, I read a very helpful newborn trick for cold weather babies – put a heating pad in their crib to warm it up before you lay them down (remove it when they go in there, obviously), and they won’t be awakened so much by their head hitting a cold sheet. So far it’s worked wonders for L. She almost never wakes when I put her in there at bedtime or after her nightly feedings. And fortunately she doesn’t need this pacifier anymore once she’s asleep. She does get a little frantic looking for it when it falls out before she’s totally out, but once the eyelids have drooped for the last time she doesn’t need it to stay asleep or need it put back in if she wakes in the night. Hallelujah. That was one game I was completely unwilling to play – find and replace the pacifier. No way.

I know I should go to bed immediately once the kids are asleep, but these night time hours when I have the house to myself (who am i kidding – i mean the tv to myself) and everyone else is quiet are when I can get “me” stuff done – work on L’s baby book, clean up whatever messes have been left from the day, eat if I haven’t gotten around to it at regular meal times during the day (which is almost always these days), breathe. They help remind me that these peaceful times far outweigh the bad ones in this crazy, exhilarating, frightening, amazing thing we call parenthood. They help remind me why we are not one of the species who eats their young, but rather one who loves and embraces the next generation we have bred. For these tinies right here are going to grow up to be wonders. Our wonders.

See, just look at that face. A precious person in the making…

L

 

Posted on

Oh, hi

Hi guys. Yes, we got back from vacation last weekend, and no, I haven’t been on here since. So sorry.

I’m realizing just how much I have to do in these next couple weeks before Dv2.0 comes, so that has now become my main focus. I’ll still be on here every once in awhile, though, so have no fear.

I will have a ton of vacation pictures to share once we sort through all of those. We did leave one of our cameras up in Canada, however, so I just need to wait until we get that back from my sister before I can get through those. We got some good ones, though, so I think you’ll like seeing them.

D is getting so big! She had an amazing time on the island in Canada, and it’s simply mind-boggling how different this visit was from last year’s. Last year she was just a little baby, only 11 months old. This year, at 25 months, she owned the place. She ran all over the island (with life jacket on, of course), up and down all the stairs, playing with all our family and the dog, and loving the lake and boats. It was so fun to watch, and I can’t wait to take her back each year and watch her grow to love it more and more.

We’re going to get her a twin bed this weekend, so that will be a change for her. She slept in one the whole week in Canada and did great, so hopefully she’ll transition ok here as well. We need to get the crib moved into our room for the baby, and I want her completely comfortable in a big bed before #2 is here. And right now she’s using the paint app on my iPhone. It seriously blows my mind how much this kid knows.

And of course there will be my weekly pregnancy posts until Dv2.0 arrives. I’m now 33.5 weeks, which scares the crap out of me. I made a pre-baby to-do list this week, and it takes up an entire page! Yesterday I did start in on it, though, getting out the most neutral of the baby clothes and getting them washed and put away, so there’s one thing I can cross off. I had my latest doctor appointment yesterday and got the pre-registration forms for labor and delivery, so yeah, it’s definitely starting to feel more real. I just hope we can get enough crossed off our lists before he/she gets here!

So bear with me, please. I apologize if I’m sporadic in my posting and such, but rest assured I have not forgotten about any of you. I can’t wait to catch up on my reader feed, too. I’m sure I have about a million unread blog posts in there, so that’ll take awhile. But I’ll get there. I hope you’re all doing well!

 

Posted on

There’s a ghost in our house

The other night I sat D in the bathroom sink to wash her hands and feet. At some point she must have stood up and planted her left hand on the mirror for balance, because later in the night I found that little reminder above. A reminder that yes, a munchkin lives in our house.

My first thought was to just clean it off, but then I realized that never again will her hands be that exact tiny size. So what else was there to do but take a picture?

And do a little comparison.

They don’t show up extremely well, and it was hard to even capture the hand prints at all with a white ceiling and bright lighting, but I tried to see just how big mine was next to her 22-month-old hand.

Della and Mommy.

Not ghosts.