Jocelyn Rau – Page 7

August 2, 2021September 6, 2021

Eleven!

Della just turned 11, and I truly don’t think I know a better human being.

ETA to add her official 11-year well check stats from August 31:

Height: 60.75″ (90%) – she’s over 5 feet tall!
Weight: 85.3 lbs. (55%)
BMI: 16.2 kg/m2 (28%)
Blood pressure: 120/80

She’s beautiful inside and out, smart, creative, caring, and has always had a heart of gold. She just babysat a couple of her siblings for the first time the other day, and I could tell how seriously she took it and how proud she was.

She is definitely the leader of the Rau kids clan, and they would all follow her to the ends of the earth and back. Thankfully, they could not have asked for a better role model in their oldest sister.

She loves reading, stickers, playing with the friends on the block (she and a couple of the neighbor girls her age just started a jewelry-making operation, and she is having so much fun organizing, designing, and creating little rings and stuff for the younger kids. she even gets paid from the profits!), doing their crafting and building game on their tablets with Lana and Morrison, dogs and babies, and just being a kid. She’s excited for middle school next year even though it’s giving me anxiety ;), and she did great getting back into swim lessons this summer. She and Lana both passed level 4 after just 1 session.

A toast to the birthday girl and the farmers market flowers she chose

Fruit pizza by request again for the girl who doesn’t like cake!

We got a beautiful sunny day for her birthday this year – Mother Nature definitely matched the day to Della.

I will never forget the day she was born – it changed my entire being forever. I had never been a girl who dreamed of being a mom, and I actually never thought I’d be a good one because I didn’t particularly like kids. But as soon as the pain and adrenaline and fear of the unknown of that first delivery, completely unmedicated and almost immediate (she was born 20 minutes after we got to the hospital!), was over and I was holding her in my arms back in the mom and baby recovery room, the only thing I wanted from that moment forward was to stay home and take care of her forever. And have like 8 or 9 more babies! That second part was obviously due to the post-delivery hormones coursing through my brain, but the overwhelming love and instant attachment I felt to that tiny baby girl was undeniable. And that is something I know will never change.

Happy 11th birthday, our amazing Della Jolee! The universe gave us one of the greatest gifts possible the day you were born, and every day just continues to prove that more and more. You are a gorgeous creature through and through, and I know you’re going to do great things. We all love you so much, my little peanut sweet pea!!

For those who like to read, here are her yearly posts:

July 18, 2021July 18, 2021

The first one bites the dust

I don’t know how many times I’ve said it, and I know I can’t stop saying it, but I STILL can’t believe that Della is finished with elementary school. Our school year ended in June, and the notion that she’ll never be walking back to that school with us again just keeps boggling my mind.

As you know, we went back to in-person school for the fourth and final quarter of this school year. It was, by far, the best decision for us. I was perfectly happy with all 3 staying virtual and at home for the first 3 quarters, but by the time that last spring quarter rolled around and the school week switched to 4 days in person with 1 asynchronous day and the COVID-19 cases didn’t skyrocket and the nice weather started to arrive and the cabin fever started to set in, I was ready to send them back. They were ready to go back, too. And we were SO fortunate that Della and Morrison got to keep their teachers, whom we all loved, because they both went back in person, too. Lana’s virtual teacher ended up not even having her own classroom for fourth quarter so Lana couldn’t have kept her anyway, but she did start helping out with reading groups in Morrison’s class! Plus Lana loved the new teacher she got for that quarter, so win-win-win.

Last time wearing her last-day-of-school dress

Last walk home from school all together 🙁

One last pass by the dinosaur and purple giraffe house with all of them

I absolutely love our elementary school. Della has had nothing but wonderful days and experiences there, and I’m so sad it’s over for her. Our middle school seems pretty amazing, though, and I know she’s looking forward to her days ahead there. I just can’t wrap my heart around the fact that we’re splitting up. We won’t all be together anymore. She’ll be going there while the rest of us still go the other way. It’s just a fact of life, I’m fully aware, but it still tugs at me. The first piece of my heart is growing up and walking right away from me before my eyes.

Thankfully the school calendar for next year is going to allow us to take Della the first couple of days before Lana and Morrison start. I already promised I wouldn’t get too close if she doesn’t want me to, wheeling the stroller with the twins right up to the 6th-grade waiting area. 😀 Once I have just those first couple dropoffs with her under my belt, I think I’ll be ok. My heart will get those few little moments to keep it full. The start and end timing of the different school days is just close enough that I wouldn’t be able to drop her off first and get over to the elementary school in time walking with everyone. I think if we drove we’d make it, but the walks to/from school are important to me. Believe it or not, I learn a lot in those short times together with all my kids.

I’m going to miss her terribly. I know she’s not actually going anywhere and will be home right after us each day, but still. She’s mine, and I miss her when she’s not with me. I think it’ll be weird for the other kids, too, not having their leader with us. I told Lana she has an important role now as the biggest Rau kid at the elementary school. She’ll be in charge of getting Morrison at his door on those winter days when I drive to pick them up and they have to come meet me at the car. And she’ll have to help him get to his door on those same mornings. I hope she’s up to the task!

Oh, my sweet little peanut. I canNOT believe you’re a big middle schooler now, and I hate the fact that our school-days gang is breaking up. But, being the amazingly beautiful person you are, I can’t wait to see where this life takes you. Dream big, my love – you’ll do incredible things. ❤

July 13, 2021July 29, 2021

He’s six!

Morrison turned 6 a few months ago, and, for some reason, I cannot get it out of my head that he isn’t 5 anymore. I even titled this post “He’s five!” not 10 seconds ago.

We had his 6-year well check on July 27, so here are his official 6-year-old stats:

Height: 49.25″ (96%)
Weight: 53.9 lbs. (84%)
BMI: 15.6 kg/m2 (56%)
Blood pressure: 103/57

He is still the absolute sweetest boy I’ve ever known, and I feel so lucky and proud that he’s our firstborn son. His heart is pure gold, he loves his siblings like nothing I’ve ever seen and would follow them to the ends of the earth, and he would do anything for his friends. These past 2 years his teachers have all told me about his genuine care and concern for and kindness toward all the friends in his classes, and it makes my heart just about explode with pride. They tell me to keep doing such a good job raising him, but that’s all him and his beautiful little soul.

He is truly one of the smartest kids I’ve met, too. His sisters have always been smart cookies, but Morrison’s brain completely amazes me. He easily learned how to read early on this year in K5, even through fully virtual school. His math skills are insane, and the different ways and speed with which he solves problems puts my old brain to utter shame. I can’t wait to see where those smarts take him in life.

One of my uncles taught him to play chess this summer, and he took to it instantly. He loved it so much and got so into it, that my uncle even gave him the travel chess board he brought to that family gathering. Morrison was thrilled! He and the girls played it for the rest of that trip and all the way home in the car.

He is very athletic, always running, nay, sprinting, everywhere! I don’t think I’ve ever stood up and felt the need to literally sprint to my next destination, but he does. Constantly. I keep saying he needs to be a runner of some sort for his sport. He loves anything with a ball, too, and Ryan just got him a pair of sticky catching gloves that he immediately fell in love with. He’s also gotten really good at this track ball catching set Ryan got the kids, as well as lacrosse. He certainly didn’t get those genes from me. However, he did just move up to level 2 of swim lessons after only 1 round in level 1, so I’ll claim that one, ha! He was so proud of himself after leveling up, though, which made me so happy to see.

His current loves include Super Mario everything, Crafting and Building (the Android version of Minecraft we let them play), the color green, the Packers, riding his scooter, swimming, making movies and projects with his sisters, showing the twins how to do pretty much anything, and sushi.

This post has so many more pictures than words, because that’s just Morrison. His adorable, goofy little smile just sums him up. One of my friends calls him a gentle giant because he’s so much bigger than her son who’s only a few months younger, and that description couldn’t be any more true. Happy 6th birthday, my incredible Morrison John!! We love you so very, very much; we are prouder of you than you could even imagine; and we can’t wait to see all the wonderful things you’re going to do with this lifetime. As you and your siblings love to sing… and many moooooorrre!!!

May 14, 2021May 14, 2021

Me

I just turned 42. Super exciting, I know. It’s not one of the fun ones, like, I just turned 21! or I just turned 30! or even I just turned 40! 42. Meh.

And, honestly, for the first time I’m actually starting to feel age. Not necessarily feeling “my age” or feeling “like I’m aging,” just age. Everyone told me 40 is when the wheels start to fall off – stiffness getting out of bed, random aches and pains, making noises when you sit down or get up just because. Ha! You know the ones.

But lucky me, I escaped one extra year and didn’t feel any afflictions until 41. This past year was a doozy overall to be sure, and maybe it just took more of a toll on me than I realized as we were living right through it. I started seeing a chiropractor last summer for a sore neck and hip, and every adjustment makes everything feel so much better. I’ve never really gone because my back hurts, though, which has always seemed funny to me. However, since then, my right shoulder has been sore, my knees have started aching, I have arthritis in my finger, and my elbows have been inflamed. I’m sorry, what? Swollen elbows?? What the fuck. These all come and go, thankfully not all sticking around permanently or at the same time, but still.

Thinking on it, though, this body of mine has put in a lot of work. Maybe it’s no wonder I’m starting to feel it. I swam 4 years collegiately, which alone could have done me in. I’ve run hundreds of miles since then, raced numerous 5Ks, competed in a handful of triathlons, run a half marathon, carried and borne 5 babies, and am raising those babies every day. And thankfully, I can still do all of it. Well, no more carrying and bearing babies, that’s for damn sure, but the rest of it. Exercise is necessary for me – sound mind and body – and I’m grateful it’s part of my everyday life. In fact, I ran my quickest 5K in recent days on my birthday. Probably because I wasn’t pushing the twins in the stroller!

Speaking of those babies, I’ve become obsessed with the show Call the Midwife. It’s about midwives in 1950s’ East End London, and I can’t get enough. Of course I put our children into every grim situation shown in the episodes, and it makes me so eternally grateful that our 5 are healthy and thriving. There’s plenty of food on the table (that thankfully Ryan cooks!), our rooms are clean and warm, everyone has clothes and shoes, and I’m able to stay home with the kids. Our house is small, yes, but it’s perfectly comfortable and overflowing with love. Plus we own the one next door, too, if we get really sick of each other. And here’s the thing about humongous houses – there’s lots of room to spread out, but there are also lots of bathrooms to clean. With twins who are potty training, 1 bathroom of pee to clean is more than enough for me!

Although 42 is a rather uneventful age, I had an incredibly fun birthday weekend. Ryan was a total bonehead earlier that week so I was fully prepared for an annoying, disappointing day, but he made a miraculous turnaround. I did pretty much whatever I wanted on my birthday – slept in, woke up to amazing decorations and gifts and a delicious egg and cheese sandwich from the kids, walked over to our neighborhood donut shop for treats and coffee with the kids, they all played outside while I went for a run, they got their own picnic lunch together in the back yard, Ryan made a fantastic dinner of beef tenderloin/scallops/chopped salad, and our 2 great friends came over to eat and celebrate that night. Plus Ryan did all the dishes for me! The next day was Mother’s Day, on which I got more adorable homemade gifts from the kids, then we went up to see Ryan’s family for the first time in over a year and take family pictures. It turned out to be much more fun than I expected, and the pictures are beautiful.

So there I am. 42. It may be a boring number, but life certainly isn’t boring these days and I cherish each of them fully. I’ll be over here just drinking my turmeric and ginger tea and taking my multi-collagen while wearing my heated neck massager, you know, to combat all my newfound aches and inflammation. 😉

May 6, 2021

April 8

Was a big day around here. The big 3 went back to in-person school for the first time in 174 school days, and it was mine and Ryan’s 15th anniversary.

Last day of virtual school for this crew!

Last virtual day picture with her teacher.

The kids are so happy to be back in the classrooms with their teachers and friends, and so am I! We were elated that Della and Morrison’s teachers switched back to in person, too, so they got to stay with them. Lana’s virtual teacher actually didn’t keep her own classroom this quarter so Lana wouldn’t have been able to stay with her anyway, and Lana’s new teacher seems wonderful. Plus, her virtual teacher now helps out with reading groups in Morrison’s class and Lana gets to see her for an hour each Wednesday during asynchronous office hours, so that worked out great. As much as I miss not having them here all day anymore, I feel with every fiber of my being that sending them back for this final quarter of the school year was definitely the right choice for us. Even the walking to/from school routine feels good again. We’ve still had asynchronous Wednesdays, so I do get to keep them with me those days.

They hopped right back into the school swing, too. They unload their backpacks right when we get home, wash their lunch boxes and water bottles, do any homework (usually only Della), give me any papers out of their folders (usually only Lana and Morrison), then make their lunches and snacks for the next day after dinner. I absolutely love the independence they’ve gained in these chores. They enjoy making their own lunches and I don’t, so it’s a win-win!

First morning walking to school in over a year!

We didn’t have a big celebration for #15. Ryan sent me a beautiful flower arrangement, I hung up the decorations Lana had made for Valentine’s Day that we were saving for this, and I opened a nice bottle of sparkling wine before dinner. I put on my wedding dress, too, which Avit absolutely loved helping to arrange.

Lana’s anniversary present for us. She made it immediately when we got home from school and had me send a picture of it to her teacher. 🙂 It says “Here comes the bride all dressed in white.”

I say it pretty much every spring, but I can’t believe we’re in May already and nearing the end of yet another school year. Della and I had her middle school tour last night (what the?!?!?!). I will be a total mess the last week of this school year with all the fun activities and celebrations they have planned for the 5th graders’ sendoff from elementary school. Even though the middle school looks incredible and I know she’ll love it, it’s breaking my heart that we’re not all going to be walking to and from the same school together each day anymore, and she won’t be at the same school with any of her siblings again until her senior year of high school. I know these are all just steps in life, but they’re scary for me. I know my kids little, and I love it this way. I obviously won’t love them any less as they grow up, but I’m having a really hard time letting go.

So there we go. April 8 – it was a good day.

April 17, 2021

My fifth

You cried. You shouted. You kicked your little feet. You tossed off your blanket. You gathered up all your “guys” and came out of the room, telling me you weren’t taking a nap in a tiny little peep.

What do you think you’re doing? Get back in there right now and go to sleep. No longer, little one, will you try to creep.

Your brother is sleeping, somehow oblivious to your noise. You tried to sleep together to start this nap but couldn’t calm down and agree, my silly boys.

“I don’t want to sleep!” you said. “I’m not sleepy!” you said. But with your little lisp, it came out “I’m not thweepy!” instead.

After 30 more minutes, I knew you needed some rest. So I went to you with calm, trying my best.

I laid you back down, snuggled you up with your guys. Exhaustion was close, as the whole time you barely opened your eyes.

I put my hand on your chest. I held you firmly but not hard. Your body is tired, little one, your cries have played your last card.

Within minutes you yawned. A wide shudder ushering in sleep. I could sense your little body settling and your heartbeat slowing down deep.

Your eyes darted back and forth under the lids, and I knew the time had about come. I was willing you to sleep before the big kids’ time playing outside was done.

I set a 5-minute limit, my hand on your chest the whole time. I didn’t even make it to 3, and sleep left you peaceful and sublime.

You fought. You tested. I helped. We rested. A piece of my heart sleeping in angelic physical form on this earth.

March 12, 2021March 13, 2021

One year

Today marks 1 year that we have officially been in this global health pandemic (declared as such on March 11, 2020). Friday, March 13, 2020, was the day we learned that school would be closed for a month while everyone tried to figure this all out. Wahoo – an extended spring break!

**Our shutdown spread last year, 3-13-20**

Well, yeah, not quite.

As we all know, our schools stayed closed for the rest of last school year and Ryan worked from home until August. Masks have been mandated since then. Social distancing is now (supposed to be) the norm. Our kids started this next school year virtually and have been so since September. Life as we knew it became a little topsy-turvy.

And we had it easy. Horribly, a staggering 2.6 million+ people have perished from this virus so far worldwide, with over 500,000 of those right here in our own country. Inconceivable.

However, around here…

I *think* things might be starting to change.

I *think* we might get through the worst of this sometime this year if people can just keep their acts together. Yes, still wear your masks. Yes, still stay away from me if we’re strangers and I have no idea what your COVID-19 business is. Yes, still keep gatherings to a minimum.

I *think* I can feel a little hope creeping in that we might all (and by all, i mean all 7 of my immediate family) actually get to the other side of this without getting sick. There is 1 caveat to this coming in a few paragraphs, though, by way of school…

I *think* I’ll feel comfortable enough to do more outside our home and close bubble sooner than later.

There are a lot of factors at play here, though, to make all these *thinks* come true:

We need the vaccines to keep getting here readily and for everyone to actually get them. I’m eagerly awaiting my turn, hopefully come May. That’d be a great birthday present!
We need people to stay smart. Don’t crowd yourselves into a bar, restaurant, movie theater, shop, what-have-you just because you have your vaccine and a mask. Does anyone else around you? Has anyone else around you just been exposed and nobody realizes it yet? Did any of those mask-less patrons next to you just sneeze on your back and you didn’t know it because it’s too crowded?
We need the 3 Ws to stay in play – wear a mask, wash your hands, and watch your distance.

Numbers are encouraging since the vaccines have come out, but we are definitely not out of the woods yet. We are still in this thing, and I just hope enough people keep remembering that to keep us all safe. I’m ecstatic that you’ve gotten both of your doses and are seemingly in the clear for now. I haven’t, though, and neither has my family.

And yes, after 3 full quarters even though I said we’d go back after 1 if everything stayed healthy and open, we are going back to in-person school for the final quarter of this school year. The big 3 had all decided they wanted to stay virtual and with their current teachers for the rest of the year when the school board threw us a curveball – at the start of Q3 a month or so ago, they began the “phase-in” process, whereby all grades eased into a 4-day-a-week in-person schedule instead of the 2-day-a-week in-person blended model. Our whole district is now in person 4 days a week with Wednesdays remaining asynchronous for the remainder of this school year, and so far it sounds like it’s so good.

So we’re gonna give it a shot. Della really wants to be back in the classroom for a little while before moving up to middle school next year, and I know Lana and Morrison want to be at the same school with her one more time. Fortunately Della and Morrison will get to see their current teachers at recess duty (assuming they stay the virtual teachers for their grades) and Lana can still pop into her teacher’s Wednesday office hours since they’ll now be at different schools, because they will all miss their teachers terribly. I’m going to be a wreck! For as much as I can feel the cabin and spring fevers creeping in for all of us and know they’ll love being back at school, I’m going to miss them terribly. These are 3 giant pieces of my heart and soul with whom I’ve been lucky enough to spend every day of the past year. We’ll never have time like this together again. Well, I’m assuming not, but after last year I guess I shouldn’t say that with too much certainty. Wish us luck!

Spring is in the air, and hopefully soon less coronavirus will be, too. This March is definitely different from last March – no 50-lb. bags of flour and beans to stock our basement pandemic shelves, no worrying about running out of toilet paper since all the store shelves were raided and empty, no constant family game nights, no homemade pretzels and countless loaves of homemade bread being made, no cutesie little pandemic art projects. I think we were all over that a while ago. Now we just want to be able to move on for good.

Stay safe, my friends. Stay safe.