Life as I know it – Page 10

May 6, 2013

They think I’m WAC-y!

Last night I attended the annual staff appreciation event the WAC holds, and it turned out to be a lot of fun. Ryan stayed home to watch the girls and at first I was very skeptical of going alone since I hate doing stuff like that by myself, but I’m glad I ended up going. I talked to a couple of the girls in the kids care room at work the other week to see if anyone else was going alone and a lot of people were, so I figured what the hell.

It was held downtown at the Milwaukee Athletic Club, and more than anything I just wanted to see the venue. It’s a fancy country club-type place to which I’d never been. (i work at the Wisconsin Athletic Club, this was held at the Milwaukee Athletic Club, with which the WAC has reciprocity membership. kinda confusing, i know)

The food was great, there were a ton of people there, and it was fun seeing everyone in something other than black and yoga pants. It actually took me a minute to recognize some of my coworkers since we girls all had our hair done nicely and were wearing dresses and heels. It was also entertaining watching a couple people get rather boisterous as the night wore on, the cash bar kept the drinks flowing, and the dance floor opened, but I was plenty content to observe all that from the sidelines.

Anyhoo… A number of awards were given out during dinner as well. There were some length of service awards, trainer and salesperson of the year, outstanding employee award, and on and on. In addition, each of our 6 clubs gave out peer awards – every employee received a ballot with their invitation and was supposed to vote for a coworker from their home club for each of the handful of categories listed.

In an amazing twist of fate, I won one!! The North Shore WAC, which is the one at which I work, bestowed upon me the “Most Contagious Smile” award. I was so surprised and deeply flattered. I’ve only worked there for about 3 moths, so the fact that enough people voted for me to win something was crazy. A number of members have told me how nice my smile is and appreciate that I always greet them cheerfully, but I had no idea so many of my coworkers felt the same way. And I got $25. Excellent.

And last week my boss gave me a gift certificate for a half hour massage, simply as a thank you for all that I do there. Sweet! Who knew working the front desk at a gym would be such a great gig?

In related news, Wednesday is my birthday. Well I guess that’s actually completely unrelated, but whatever. It’s just what I thought of next.

I’m never one to shun my birthday; I usually love celebrating it to the fullest. But just a few days ago I was remarking on the fact that it was already going to be May, and I realized I had honestly forgotten about my birthday.

I don’t mean like oh shoot, it’s just my little ol’ birthday, it’s nothing special. I mean like I literally had not given it one half of a thought this year. Guess that’s what happens when your life revolves around 2 tiny human beings – 99% of my brain is dedicated to them, the other 1% goes to me, Ryan, the house, what I need to do on a daily basis to stay sane and keep things running. You know, no big deal.

At least spring seems to finally have sprung around here. The lowest high temperature I see through the extended forecast is high 50s, which is much better than the high 30s we saw so recently. About damn time this year. My tulips and lilacs may actually bloom soon. Yay, my beloved May flowers!

April 30, 2013June 1, 2013

Summer lovin’

I am beyond thrilled that the weather is finally starting to turn. Huge emphasis on the finally. I swear this winter seemed to never end, no matter what date the calendar read. Having a newborn during those miserable winter months wasn’t the most fun either, but that’s not the point of this post…

This summer is going to be so much fun. Ryan’s place of employment allows them the full calendar year after a baby is born to take parental leave, so he has saved his and will be taking a good portion of June and July off. We get a summer vacation as a family this year! I can’t wait. First up will be a nice long road trip out to Colorado to visit my sisters and meet our brand new nephew, who should be making his appearance sometime in the next couple weeks!! (Marissa, if you’re reading, did you just poop your pants at that thought? 😉 )

But I think I will coin this the summer of music. We have more concerts lined up so far than I think we’ve had in any other season. Check this out:

Kenny Chesney & Eric Church at Miller Park in May
Tedeschi Trucks Band at Red Rocks in June
Violent Femmes & The Avett Brothers at Summerfest in June
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers at Summerfest in June
Rush at Summerfest in July
The Eagles at Summerfest in July
Paul McCartney at Miller Park in July

Come on! That is one hell of a lineup! This is going to be awesome.

And on a completely different note, I bought a new face lotion that I am loving. Despite containing a broad spectrum SPF 30, it’s super light and not greasy at all. This is something I definitely appreciate with oily skin. I just started using it so I’m not sure how truly effective its claim to reduce dark spots is (i really hope that works, though), but everything else about it is great. It smells really good too, which is a major criterion for me with any product ever since my sense of smell went haywire when I was pregnant with Della.

That’s about it for today; just some random thoughts for you all. Get out and enjoy the day – it’s supposed to be in the 80s here! The girls and I are going to the park for the first time in months, and D is so excited. I just ordered a double jogging stroller that is supposed to arrive today, and I can’t wait to test it out.

April 8, 2013April 5, 2013

7 years

Today is my and Ryan’s 7th wedding anniversary. It was one of the best days of my life.

it was a beautiful, cloudless, cold day

no wedding prep is complete without mimosas!

i was so excited

do what?

true love – he cleaned goose poop off my wedding shoes

we ate cake!

so very, very much fun

and we danced ourselves silly. the dance floor was never empty

Cheers to many, many more!

March 25, 2013March 22, 2013

An update. And pictures!

I’ve been meaning to write this post for awhile, but just haven’t found the time to actually sit down and do it. Imagine that with a toddler and infant in the house. Odd.

But fortunately things are feeling much better than they did a few months ago, when I wrote this post. The fog of not feeling like myself has finally lifted, and thankfully I think I’ve regained my parenting mojo. I no longer feel like having 2 kids is going to suffocate me; rather I feel like each day gets better than the last with these 2 little ones.

What has happened to changed my outlook? Well, for one, I got a job. It’s not a new career by any means, more just something to get me and the girls out of the house and interacting in society again. I work part-time at the front desk of the Wisconsin Athletic Club, a gym to which I belonged for years and at which I continued to work out with my trainer until she left just a few weeks ago.

I work anywhere from 2-4 days per week, 3-4 hours at a time. The girls and I get free memberships out of the deal too, but the best part, by far, is that they get to come with me while I work and stay in the kids care room for free. Free daycare?! That cannot be passed up. Now it isn’t an actual licensed daycare center, more just glorified babysitting, but still. Della gets to play with all the kids, they do story time and gym time, she takes her favorite “new lunchbox” every day; and Lana gets fed her bottles, diapers changed, tummy time, etc., so it’s absolutely perfect.

It gives me a nice little break from the parenting responsibilities a couple times a week and the girls get taken care of well, so it’s working out very smoothly right now. And I finally don’t feel like I’m about to lose my head trying to rush us out the door each time we go, so that helps too. Those first couple weeks I seriously felt like a complete whirling dervish every time I had to get the 3 of us ready to go in the mornings. Practice makes perfect, I guess. Or at least better.

Having a paycheck again is nice too, but the pay is definitely not why I’m there. A little is better than zero though, eh?

What else? I guess Lana getting out of the newborn stage has helped as well. I don’t feel completely tethered to a screaming baby anymore, which I think would make anyone happy. She has certainly mellowed in the past couple months, and I don’t have a tiny screaming head in my face so much anymore. She’ll give a good wail here and there still, but nothing like the early days when I almost went deaf a few times.

She’s getting easier, I think Della enjoys being around kids more often again, and the combination of those just makes my days all around better. I don’t feel trapped, I don’t feel anxious, I don’t feel like a terrible mom, I don’t feel like a terrible wife, I don’t feel like not me. I feel good again, and that feels great.

I do still need to work on the exercise part, as I haven’t been able to get in a good routine with timing workouts with my shifts at the gym, but hopefully I’ll get something going soon. I usually work from 9-noon or 9-1, which doesn’t leave enough time for me to get in as long a workout as I want before having to get Della home for her nap, and the kids room doesn’t open until 8, which doesn’t give me enough time before work either. So we’ll see what I can finagle there.

Also, it’s Spring. Even though the temperature belies the season right now, I am happy that the sun is at least shining. I started taking vitamin D in liquid drop form this winter to actually help slow my postpartum hair shedding, but I think it helped me feel better overall instead. It didn’t necessarily give me more energy, but I didn’t feel so run-down and tired all the time. I don’t think it did anything to help my hair stop falling out so much, though. That will just take time to get rid of all the built up pregnancy locks.

So there you have it. And for being such good listeners and readers, here are some recent pictures of the most adorable children ever created. What? I’m biased.

March 15, 2013

Week 1 vs. Week 20

I did it. I made it through my first trial as a solo parent and we all survived swimmingly. No broken bones, no lost children, no burned down house. Success!

Ryan was out of town from Monday night through today, so I had the girls at home by myself. Fortunately we drove down to my mom’s house yesterday afternoon so I didn’t have to spend that entire time fully alone, but still a good chunk of it. And just like last week, I’m pretty damn proud of myself.

I was a little leery of having to do both bedtimes with no help all week since that is my absolute least favorite time of day, but it ended up being a piece of cake. Della has been having some bedtime issues and slept in my bed 2 of the nights, but after night 1 of being kicked in the back for 8 hours I learned to barricade her on Ryan’s side with blankets so I could get a little better sleep the second night. I figured that was just easier than trying to get her to stay in her own bed over and over and over and over and over until I died of exhaustion and frustration. Pick your battles, people.

I think Lana has been going through some 4 month sleep regression, too, so I was afraid that did not bode well for a week alone either. I had never heard of this until I read this post awhile ago, but it all sounds like what we’ve been dealing with with Lana – waking up crying shortly after going to bed when I know she’s not hungry or wet, no longer sleeping anywhere close to through the night, having maximum night sleep stretches of 3-4 hours tops, and starting to wake up 2 or more times a night again with the only solution being nursing her back to sleep. Ridiculous. I was starting to go zombie again until I figured out what was going on. We were completely spoiled with Della since she slept through the night by 3 months of age and really had no consistent troubles that I can remember after that, but like I’ve said before, #2 here is just totally different.

That post I link to above by Brandy is an excellent reference for this, though. She has a number of links in there to other explanations of it, so I’m not going to bother repeating them here. But if you have a 4ish month old babe and are starting to go crazy with him/her suddenly breaking their new found sleeping abilities, read it. Fortunately I remembered it from when I read it the first time so I wasn’t totally shocked when Lana started doing this, but that still didn’t make the 12:00, 2:00, and 5:00 wake ups any easier. When she was a newborn, sure, those were expected. But at almost 5 months? No way, jack.

And unfortunately Monday night of this week was quite possibly the worst night she’s ever had in her almost 5 months on the outside. I shit you not. She woke up at 10:30 and I arm bounced her back to sleep; she woke again at 11:30 and refused to go back to sleep so I finally fed her again to quiet the screaming and put her back in her crib between 12:30-1; she started crying again but I was fed up with the antics and just let her test her lungs that time because I knew she just needed sleep, and fortunately she finally quieted herself after a few minutes; but then she woke again at 5:05 to eat before going back to sleep for a couple hours until her wake up for the day. I didn’t have to work on Tuesday so was hoping to sleep in a little after that night at the freak show, but Della got up at 7:30. Boo. No rest for the weary.

I worked Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday this week, so we’ll throw that into the mix of being on my own too. Actually, I guess that gave me a little break from them for those shifts, so that worked out ok. Plus getting the 3 of us ready in the mornings and to work on time is becoming much easier, so that part really wasn’t so bad. It was just knowing there was going to be no one at home later in the day to play with them that had me a little worried, but those worries turned out to be completely unfounded. I recorded the movie “Tangled” a few months ago, so Della and I watched that at night before bed and she loved it.

There were a couple wrenches in the week, however, because why wouldn’t there be? Murphy’s Law dictates that nothing in our household may run smoothly, so I shouldn’t have been surprised. Our recycling bin got frozen to the ground in a glacier of ice during the thaw and refreeze last week, which I never even gave thought to until I tried to wheel it out to the curb Tuesday night and realized it was not going anywhere. I tried pouring hot water around it and whacking at the ice with a shovel, and I even tried melting the ice around the bottom with a blow torch, but that sucker wasn’t budging. Well yes, we have a blow torch, doesn’t everyone? I was just proud of myself for figuring out how to use it without burning my hands or having it blow up in my face. And no, I didn’t melt any of the recycling bin plastic, either.

Fortunately we have amazing neighbors who filled up bins of their own with our recycling so I could at least empty some of it and who came over with ice melter and spent over an hour melting and shoveling the thing out, as well as wheeling it out to the curb for me as I put the girls down for naps. We seriously live on the best block ever. So, per the recycling truck driver’s instructions, I just called the village once it was out and the truck came back the next day and picked it up right before we left for my mom’s house. Excellent.

We are now at the mecca that is “Bapa’s house!”, as Della would say, so thankfully my single parent status has come to an end. But it’s funny – all week I have been comparing how I fared now to how I fared the very first week I was home alone with these 2 after Ryan went back to work and my mom left after the week she spent with us after Lana’s birth, and it’s like night and day.

Week 1 I was still so new to this 2 kid game that I honestly had no idea how we were going to survive. Multiple naps, multiple meals for each, maybe a bathroom break for me, trying to keep the house in some semblance of order, and feeling that total fog of new parenthood again. It was so hard. I kept everything on an even keel, but that first week alone scared the living shit out of me.

Week 20 was the week of “I got this”. Sure there were some things that had me slightly worried, as I said above, but in general I went into it thinking why bother fretting, I have to do this. I almost saw it as a challenge that I wanted to blow out of the water instead of a chore. And I did. There were no meltdowns, I didn’t lose my temper with anyone, I got the house cleaned and laundry done, and we all had fun together, just Mama and her girls. Quite a different mindset from the beginning.

But am I happy to have helping hands again now? Oh hell yes.

week 1

week 20

January 14, 2013January 14, 2013

We’re molting! And other news

I guess more accurately we’re shedding, but I liked molting better. But either way, the time has come for the postpartum shed to begin. Yuck! And this time it’s not just me, but Lana too. Her tiny little hairs are falling out all over the place, as are my foot-long ones. Again, yuck!

I don’t remember Della losing her hair at this point so much, but then again she had a fraction of the amount of hair that Lana does. Hers did fall out too, but maybe it just wasn’t so obvious since there was less of it. I just hope this doesn’t last for 3 months again, making me think my hairline is receding like it did last time, because I detest cleaning hair up from every surface of the house.

Let’s see, what else… Della and I actually did a craft project today! I know, stop the presses. Every so often they would send home their little placemats from daycare with a picture of the kid and other stickers and pictures and stuff on them. We have 2 past ones, and Ryan thought it needed updating. So that was our project for this morning. I think it turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself. She picked all the pictures out of a magazine, I cut them out and glued them on, then she adorned it with stickers.

And speaking of daycare, D’s going back! Well, just 1 day a week, but I think she’ll love it. She still talks about 3 of her friends from there all the time, and I always feel bad when she does, thinking, well don’t get your hopes up because you’ll probably never see them again. I actually did ask the daycare director if they’re still there, and all but 1 of them are.

So we’re starting this Wednesday. Ryan will either drop her off and pick her up on his way home from work, or I’ll keep the car that day and play taxi. I really think she’ll enjoy being back with all the other kids, I’ll get a day to focus only on Lana, we can do it on a drop in basis, and we already know we love the place. Win, win, win, win, win…

Also, get this. I applied for a job! It’s just a part-time front desk position at the gym where I train and used to belong, so it’s not like I’m setting out to make my fortune here. I knew a long time ago that if I ever lost my last job, I would be very hard-pressed to make 6 figures again unless I did that same thing. Which I don’t really think I want to right now. So why not do something more lighthearted and fun?

The other great thing about this job would be I could probably take the girls into the kid care room while I was there, plus I’d get a membership for free. Winning again! It would just be a couple hours in the weekday mornings, whichever days they have openings. I spoke with the guy in charge of the front desk staffing today, and he will be working on February’s schedule later this week, obviously filling openings with current staff first then going from there. So he said he’ll let me know later in the week one way or the other.

I also said I would volunteer if they have no paid openings right now, which would still get us out of the house and me a free membership. So hopefully something will pan out there. I think it’s kind of a long shot since I didn’t see any front desk part-time openings on their website, but you never know. I’ll keep you posted.

Sooo… I think that’s about it. Fortunately 2013 seems to be off to a good start, and I’m feeling much better about everything these days. I definitely feel much more found than lost right now, and I am so thankful for that.

January 6, 2013January 7, 2013

The first time of many, I’m sure

Yesterday we went to an annual family Christmas party, and it’s always a great time. Ryan has a really big family, so fun always ensues when everyone gets together. And this year was no different. Except for one thing…

There were 2 little girls there, one of whom was 6 and the other must have been the same age. They were running around together the whole time, having a blast. One of the girls literally wheeled in a suitcase full of toys when she and her family arrived, which she immediately proceeded to dump out on one of the couches.

Well of course Della saw that and made a bee-line for that mountain of dolls, cars, blankets, and other crap. I could tell the little girl was less than pleased that little D came creeping over to play, so I just made sure Della knew that those were not her toys and that she was sharing. All was well.

Later in the afternoon the girl who brought all the toys was running around with a blanket draped over her like a cape, which Della thought was fantastic. D was having the time of her life chasing after the caped girl and the other one; she probably ran a million laps around the place where the party was. I thought oh great, they’re having fun, that’ll keep D entertained for hours.

Well shortly after the blanket adventures began, I glanced over to where D and this girl were, and the girl was chiding D and wagging her finger in D’s face while wearing a very stern expression. Della was sitting on the floor in front of the girl, and the look on her face just made my heart break. It was a mixture of sadness, confusion, and disappointment that this girl with whom she’d been having so much fun was telling her she couldn’t play anymore.

I was so mad. I completely understand that 6 year olds rarely want to play with 2 year olds, but Della was completely harmless. These girls were running around like banshees anyway, so what did they care that D was following them? She couldn’t even keep up with the circles they were all running anyway. Della’s little head would come bobbing around the corner a good half lap behind the other two each time. I just kept thinking how dare she point her finger in my daughter’s face like she’s the boss? As ludicrous as it sounds, I was royally pissed.

After I saw that I couldn’t keep my eyes off the trio. I became obsessed with making sure Della didn’t get her beautiful little spirit crushed again. I kept seeing the pair of older girls go up to Della, then run away, teasing her into chasing them like they wanted her to play. But then they’d go into the bathroom and hide from her.

At one point they happened to walk up next to where I was standing holding Lana, and I heard them saying something about “oh no, there she is” and having to get away from the little girl. I told them to just leave Della alone because she’s only 2 and just wanted to play with them.

Then one time when I went into the bathroom to wash out a water bottle, Della was in there crawling on the floor trying to get under one of the stall doors because the girls were hiding in it. I about barfed seeing her crawl on the bathroom floor, so while washing her hands I made some comment to D like, “oh, are the girls in there?” She said yes and I could hear them giggling, and I said I thought they were hiding from her. She of course didn’t understand what that meant, so I asked them why they were hiding. They said they were hiding from the boys and Della, and I said well Della just wants to play with you guys because she likes you. They said “I know” in unison and just kind of laughed.

I don’t know if my prodding helped, or if they just decided to give up trying to “get away from that little girl”, but from that point on it seemed like they actually didn’t mind having D run around with them as much. At one point the 3 of them were actually sitting on the hearth of the fireplace together, looking at some toy. And of course D wanted to run around the rest of the time with one of her new blankets tied around herself like the other girl had been. Ok fine, if it makes my baby girl happy.

Now before you yell at me for being a crazy, overprotective parent, yes, I know Della had no idea that the girls weren’t playing with her but were trying to get away from her most of the time. She was just thrilled to be seeing other kids and running around. And she probably had no idea what the one girl was even talking about when she had her finger in D’s face. But I did. And I just couldn’t help feeling crushed.

Della and Lana are little pieces of my heart and soul running around outside my body now, and I will always try to protect them. Especially when they’re this young. So knowing that someone was purposely trying to quash Della’s innocent little sparkle and make her have a bad time just killed me. I seriously wanted to cry when I saw D sitting there on the floor, just wanting to play, and having that poor little look on her face while getting pointed at and scolded by a 6 year old little brat. I wanted to simultaneously scoop her up and smother her in hugs and slap the other girl for not including my daughter. (of course not for real slap, geez)

This little episode got me thinking, though. If I feel this bad when my girls get little hurts like this (i should say nonexistent really, since between me and d i was the only one who knew what was going on), what am I going to do when they go through the inevitable big hurts? I won’t always be there monitoring the situations and making sure everyone lets them play.

My greatest wish as a parent is that Ryan and I instill in our children the senses of confidence and compassion and knowing right from wrong. And more than simply knowing right from wrong, having the strength and self-confidence to act right instead of wrong, especially when wrong is the far easier choice. So hopefully when the big hurts come, as I know they unfortunately will, our girls will be able to navigate through them and come out on the other sides relatively unscathed and stronger.

This protecting my heart and soul when it now has its own legs and runs circles around me… Does it ever get any easier?

how could you not want to play with this one?