Tag: Life as I know it

Life as I know it…

Posted on

Ramblings of a pregnant girl

Because that’s pretty much how my mind’s working these days, and yes, I still call/think of myself as a girl, even at age 33. Moving on…

So I REALLY can’t believe that Della won’t be my only child in what could be a matter of days. Yes, this pregnancy was planned and not a surprise, but I guess it never dawned on me how much I was going to miss having just her little self running around. I just hope I can be a good mom to both of them when Dv2.0 gets here. I know a newborn needs a lot of time and attention, but there’s no way I’m going to ignore anything about D. I just hope I can handle it.

This time being home with her and not working has been so much more enjoyable than I expected, I can barely stand it. I absolutely love being everything for her all day, even though I’m sure there’s stuff she’s missing out on that they’d be doing at daycare. No, we haven’t done nearly as many art projects as I would have liked or arranged as many play dates or explored more books at the library, but I think she’s still learning and progressing as she should be. She says more and more words each day, she’s excited to see us when she wakes up every morning, she really has had zero major meltdowns, and she’s just so happy. That’s most important and a good sign, right?

It honestly gives me anxiety now when I have to think about going back to work at some point next year. I have been able to do some editing/proofreading work since my job ended this summer which definitely helps to tack onto my severance bundle, and it’s something I would love to continue year-round as a work-at-home gig. Whether or not I could actually build up enough of it to really count as even a part-time second income is the wrench in the plan. I bet I could, but I think I would need 1-2 days of daycare each week back to get big chunks of work done. Especially with 2 kids at home, I’m not sure how well it would work trying to get multiple hours of editing in each day and juggle their demands at the same time.

Speaking of 2 kids, where are the Cliffs notes for how to do that? Before I knew I would be jobless when Dv2.0 came, it was easy – D would be in daycare during the days still, so I could focus all attention on the baby for a couple months. Then when I went back to work they’d both be going to the same place. Simple as pie. Now, I have no idea how I’m going to survive after that first week when I’m home alone with both. D is such a great kid I really don’t think she’ll have a total attitude reversal and turn into a pint-sized terror, but who knows. I just hope the baby is as great and calm as she was. If we get a colicky kid on our hands this time, I may not be so composed as I was with D as a newborn.

I hope D adjusts well to Ryan doing more stuff with/for her when the baby comes, stuff that I mainly do now, simply because I’m here all day with her. Like right now she doesn’t want him to read her bedtime stories anymore, just me. Which is weird, since she’s always loved having both of us do it. I think it may have something to do with the fact that she now likes to pull up my shirt and put her head on my belly when we rock before she goes to sleep so she can be with the baby, but I could be totally wrong. It is super cute, though, how she does that. She always says, “me baby” and just rests her head down there with her arms at my sides. I about die. I hope it’s a good sign that she’ll actually be excited to see and know the baby when he/she arrives instead of feeling any sort of jealousy or resentment.

Like I mentioned in my weekly pregnancy post on Friday, I am now done with my pre-baby to-do list, and that elates me. I have really been worried that we’re just going to be totally unprepared when this kid comes for some reason, but having all the stuff crossed off that bad boy eases my worries a lot. The crib is clean and set up and D’s in her big bed well; the car seat is washed and ready to be installed; we have a bassinet again; the newborn clothes are washed and put away; the newborn diapers are stocked; etc., etc. Now I’m just willing that kid to stay put for a couple more weeks, and we’ll be golden. I just need to remember to keep cherishing these days with just D while I can.

I’m planning to make a couple batches of meals to freeze this week, just another thing to get ready for a house with a newborn again. Lasagna, spaghetti bake, another chicken casserole-type dish. You know, some staples. This is definitely not something I even thought about when D was born, but I figured that since I’m home and should have the time, it’s something I should do, right? How did I get all this stuff accomplished when I was pregnant with D and working full-time? I guess it was a little easier back then because there wasn’t already another kid in the house, but this time should be easier too since we already have all the baby essentials from her.

Hmm… (it’s funny because D now imitates me saying “hmm” all the time, complete with her little finger tapping on her pursed lips) I guess that’s about it for now. The new-baby nerves are in full effect, so it feels good to just get some of this random stuff out of my head. I think the thing making me most nervous this time around is the logistics of it all – when will labor start, what will we do with D if it happens suddenly in the middle of the night (since my water didn’t break last time i don’t know what will happen if it does this time), will she be ok with me having to stay in the hospital a couple nights while she goes home with Daddy, will my mom be able to get up here in time to watch D while we go to the hospital if things do progress during the day again? See, stuff like that. But I know it’ll all work out in the end and we’ll end up a new family of 4.

Wow.

 

Posted on

Oh, hi

Hi guys. Yes, we got back from vacation last weekend, and no, I haven’t been on here since. So sorry.

I’m realizing just how much I have to do in these next couple weeks before Dv2.0 comes, so that has now become my main focus. I’ll still be on here every once in awhile, though, so have no fear.

I will have a ton of vacation pictures to share once we sort through all of those. We did leave one of our cameras up in Canada, however, so I just need to wait until we get that back from my sister before I can get through those. We got some good ones, though, so I think you’ll like seeing them.

D is getting so big! She had an amazing time on the island in Canada, and it’s simply mind-boggling how different this visit was from last year’s. Last year she was just a little baby, only 11 months old. This year, at 25 months, she owned the place. She ran all over the island (with life jacket on, of course), up and down all the stairs, playing with all our family and the dog, and loving the lake and boats. It was so fun to watch, and I can’t wait to take her back each year and watch her grow to love it more and more.

We’re going to get her a twin bed this weekend, so that will be a change for her. She slept in one the whole week in Canada and did great, so hopefully she’ll transition ok here as well. We need to get the crib moved into our room for the baby, and I want her completely comfortable in a big bed before #2 is here. And right now she’s using the paint app on my iPhone. It seriously blows my mind how much this kid knows.

And of course there will be my weekly pregnancy posts until Dv2.0 arrives. I’m now 33.5 weeks, which scares the crap out of me. I made a pre-baby to-do list this week, and it takes up an entire page! Yesterday I did start in on it, though, getting out the most neutral of the baby clothes and getting them washed and put away, so there’s one thing I can cross off. I had my latest doctor appointment yesterday and got the pre-registration forms for labor and delivery, so yeah, it’s definitely starting to feel more real. I just hope we can get enough crossed off our lists before he/she gets here!

So bear with me, please. I apologize if I’m sporadic in my posting and such, but rest assured I have not forgotten about any of you. I can’t wait to catch up on my reader feed, too. I’m sure I have about a million unread blog posts in there, so that’ll take awhile. But I’ll get there. I hope you’re all doing well!

 

Posted on

Buffett #9

Saturday was our annual trip to the Jimmy Buffett concert at Alpine Valley, and I’m pretty sure this was my 9th show. We’ll have to do something fun for my 10th anniversary next year. A signature cocktail maybe?

This was the 2nd time I’ve gone while 7+ months pregnant, and I will admit, it wasn’t quite as fun this time around as it was when I was pregnant with D for some reason. Maybe it was the 5k I walked the night before that wiped me out. I don’t know, but I was just so tired the whole time, it made for a very long 12 hour day.

It’s always great to see our friends with whom we go with each year, though. They bring a whole spread of food, Ryan makes his famous gumbo, we set up our tent, crank up the tunes, and watch the crazy. The row in which we parked this year was pretty tame, though, so there wasn’t a whole lot of good people-watching from my chair, and since it was 90 degrees again I was definitely not up for doing the whole parking lot walkabout this time.

But overall it was a really good day. I saw a guy with whom I swam at Madison and his wife, and they’re wonderful people, so it was fun to catch up with them. R’s ego was permanently boosted when 8 Louisiana natives said his gumbo was the best they’ve ever had, and I don’t think they were just blowing smoke up his ass either – it was delicious, as always. He definitely had his fair share of the cocktails, though, and was walking on a slant by the time we headed back to the car. Mind you, Alpine Valley’s parking lots are completely flat. 😉

And of course the music was as awesome as ever. It’s hard to believe Jimmy’s 65, the way he still rocks it on stage. They did just play 1 big long 2.5 hour set this time, though, instead of their usual 2 set show with an intermission. Maybe they’re getting ready for the end? My favorite part was when they all sat down for their acoustic-ish segment, during which they played “Southern Cross”, one of my all-time favorite songs.

Then, somehow, our exit from the usually chaotic, jam-packed parking lots was the fastest ever. The friend to whom we had given a ride was already back at our car when R and I arrived, we were able to pull right out of our row, and we were home a solid 2 hours earlier than normal. We typically stay and fire up the grill again afterwards to wait out the traffic, but this year we were just elated to be out of there so early and easily.

So here’s a little peek into the day. We didn’t end up taking many pictures at all this year, but we did manage to get a couple good group shots as various people showed up. And here’s to not being pregnant for the next show!

no tailgating and no alcoholic beverages? oh yeah right. then why did we get there 8 hours before show time, ha!

another of r’s annual treats – teriyaki shrimp skewers. yum!

boys stirring gumbo

group shot #1

 

group shot #2

yes, the 31 week pregnant girl had had enough. and this was before we even went into the show, haha!

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on

What have we been up to?

Well since I can barely remember what we’ve done myself most days, I’ll just let some pictures do the talking…

The last weekend in July was our northern WI vacation, so we’ll start with a glimpse into that.

The first day we went to Stevens Point Brewery in Stevens Point, WI; found Nueske’s, the famous bacon-makers; ate lunch at Red Eye Brewing Co. in Wausau, WI (don’t freak out, i only had one small sample glass. the rest of the sampler was ryan’s); then checked out a supper club that Ryan discovered called Marty’s Place North before spending the night in Minocqua, WI. On our way out of town the following morning we swung by Little Bohemia, where the movie “Public Enemies” was filmed and the real-life John Dillinger hid out.

The rest of that weekend we explored Madeline Island (1 of the Apostle Islands in Lake Superior); Bayfield, WI; and Ashland, WI. That upper coast of our state is simply beautiful, and we had a blast.

The last day of our vacation was spent in Green Bay. Since Ryan and Della are now Packers shareholders, we met up with 2 of our friends at Lambeau Field to attend the annual shareholders’ meeting. It was really hot, but even as a Bears fan I still had fun.

The following weekend we went to my first, and quite possibly only, Brewers game of this season with friends.

Then the Tuesday after that was d-day – my last day of work and Della’s last day of daycare.

The rest of that week was spent getting ready for our annual summer party/birthday party for R and D.

And since then, D and I have been getting into the swing of our stay home routine. You know, helping me in the kitchen (yes, i actually made that Elmo cake pictured above), taking walks to go explore the beach, and playing at the park.

And that about brings us to the present. We did go to the Wisconsin State Fair last week and the Milwaukee Air Show yesterday, so I’ll get those pictures up soon. Despite losing my job, we are having a great summer!

 

 

Posted on

Sayonara

Well, today is the day. My last day as a member of the gainfully employed.

Bittersweet? Definitely. I’m beyond sad to be leaving a workplace I loved, but I’m also excited to get to spend time at home with Della. I think these next couple months with just her before the new baby comes will be priceless.

And we already have plans for our first day home together. I should say I’ve made plans for us, she’ll just be along for the ride. Since tomorrow is her birthday, I’m going to take her to the zoo for the first time. I hope she loves it, since she totally digs animals right now. I think 1 or 2 of my girlfriends and their little ones may join us, so D might have a birthday entourage.

And although tomorrow is her actual 2 year birthday, her monthly update post will have to wait a bit. (nothing new there, though) We have her 2 year checkup tomorrow night, so I’ll get her official height/weight stats there to include. Plus during the day we’ll be busy zooing, not blogging, duh.

I sent my farewell email out at work yesterday with tears in my eyes, but they dried pretty quickly. I’ve realized I need to just calm down and enjoy this time off instead of constantly bemoaning the fact that my paychecks have dried up like those tears. This is the time I so craved after D was born. What am I afraid of now?

So hopefully I’ll still be around fairly regularly to keep you all entertained, even though I’ll no longer be sitting in front of 4 computer screens all day. Maybe my eyesight will enjoy this break too, come to think of it. I do owe you a lot of pictures from our recent travels though, plus I’ll still keep you abreast of my weekly pregnancy growth.

And with that I say good-bye, desk at work; hello, summer!

 

 

Posted on

The End

2 words. So simple, yet so final.

And my reality in just 1 week’s time.

As of next Wednesday, August 1, I will be unemployed. Yep, that’s right. J-O-B-less.

Unfortunately, I now know what it feels like to be fired. Well, technically terminated, but still. I’m out of a job.

Here’s the scoop…

I work at a hedge fund, and in a nutshell we’ve lost all of our outside investors. I say outside because I think all of the Principals have some of their own money invested, but you can’t really run a business with the employee base we’ve been carrying based solely on funds from the Principals. You need outside dough coming in, and that is one thing we’ve been severely lacking for a couple years now.

So they made the hard decision to close down our main investment funds and return all outside investors’ capital. In plain English, we went broke.

Now here’s the thing. This was no surprise. Those of you who know me well know that we’ve been living through this possible scenario for the past 4 years. Thankfully I survived every round of downsizing and layoffs until the end, so I do take that as a sign of my worth and standing as an employee. This was due to no fault of my own, and the Principals had nothing but praises to sing about my intelligence, work ethic, qualifications, etc., when the hammer finally dropped and I learned my final date. So that makes me feel a little better about everything.

Still, though, it means the end of a paycheck. The end of 401k contributions. The end of 100% employer-paid health insurance and medical benefits. The end of working in an awesome building with a full cafeteria staff who cooked us breakfast and lunch every day. The end of year-end bonuses. The end of working with people who have become good friends over the last almost 8 years. The end of my career?

That last one is probably the one that scares me most. This is the only “real” type of job I’ve held since graduating college – finance. And now, after a decade, I’m out. And I honestly don’t know if I’ll want to get back in when the time comes. I’ll be off at least the rest of this year, for who wants to hire a 6+ months pregnant chick who they know will be off for about 3 months with a baby shortly after she starts work? Yeah that’s what I thought too – no one.

Thankfully everyone is receiving severance packages, including continued health insurance coverage. And they did throw me a bone since I’m knocked up and extended my insurance coverage through the end of January instead of through October like most have been receiving.

I was really hoping to get just a couple more months out of the deal, since people are being let go in waves – July, August, September, and December, with a very small group staying for 1 year to get everything wound down. End of September would have been ideal. But such is not the case. In speaking with the Principals when I was given my final date they did say there’s always the possibility they could start something back up with a pool of their money, in which case I am high on their list of people they’d want back, but I’m not holding my breath on that whatsoever. I’m fairly certain that when I pull out of the garage on July 31, that will be the last time I see most everyone who’s left.

It’s sad. I’m sad. I foresaw myself working there for the rest of my career, however long that was to be. And for as much as it tore me up to send Della to daycare at 5 months old, I actually hate having to take her out now. She talks about her friends there constantly, she loves the teachers, and we love what they do for the kids. I hope I can keep some semblance of a social routine up for her once she’s at home with me full time. I’ve been saving their weekly lesson plans for the past couple weeks for ideas of what to do, and I’m planning on keeping their daily schedule in tact as much as I can at home, but I’m not going to lie. I’m nervous.

I have no idea how to be a stay at home mom anymore. What if she hates being home with me all day? What if I have no idea what to teach her or how to teach her what she would’ve been learning at daycare? What if she drives me crazy? What if I drive her crazy? What if we drive each other crazy and Ryan comes home to find 2 heaps on the floor, dead from all the crazy?

And then there’s the whole issue of a new baby coming in October. Oh yeah, that!! Someone, anyone, please tell me how to simultaneously (and successfully, mind you) take care of a 2 year old and a newborn all day alone. That is probably the part that makes me most frightened. I don’t know how to do it! The other day I was trying to remember what we did with Della and having her go to daycare when she was born, and then I remembered – she WAS the one who was born. DUH!! See, my mind is already partially gone. How am I going to survive the double kid whammy?

So you see, times they are a-changin’ at our house. Whether for better or worse, I have no idea, but it was out of my control. So it’s just happening. Fortunately, with the severance we’ll be ok financially for awhile. Thank god. And I am hoping to pick up a little freelance work between now and when the baby’s born to help tide us over too.

For those who don’t know, I’m an excellent proofreader/editor. Please check out that JEditing button at the very bottom of the page to be taken to my website for a little more info. And if you need any proofreading/editing services, EMAIL ME! I’m not just being egotistical when I say I’m good. I really am.

If I could do proofreading/editing work indefinitely after the baby’s born this fall, that would be ideal. I like it, I’m very good at it, I love finishing a project and knowing I made it correct, and I could do it from home. And if I were to get enough hours doing that, we could always send the kids to daycare once or twice a week so I could get large chunks of time in to work. Ahh, pipe dreams.

So, my friends, my days as a working mom are numbered. Like I said, I have no idea how I’ll be as a stay at home mom now, but I guess we’ll find out in a few days. Wish me luck!

 

 

 

Posted on

There’s a ghost in our house

The other night I sat D in the bathroom sink to wash her hands and feet. At some point she must have stood up and planted her left hand on the mirror for balance, because later in the night I found that little reminder above. A reminder that yes, a munchkin lives in our house.

My first thought was to just clean it off, but then I realized that never again will her hands be that exact tiny size. So what else was there to do but take a picture?

And do a little comparison.

They don’t show up extremely well, and it was hard to even capture the hand prints at all with a white ceiling and bright lighting, but I tried to see just how big mine was next to her 22-month-old hand.

Della and Mommy.

Not ghosts.

 

 

Proudly powered by WordPress